Unfortunately, Rain Man was not as amusing high on nitrous oxide as I anticipated. He was very subdued and talked a lot about a pine cone he saw once. So, moving right along…

Before kids, there wasn’t much a person could say to me that would make me break out in to a cold sweat.  ”Hey, that’s a cool poisonous snake on your head!” would be an exception, of course. But now that I have children, I find horror in seemingly innocuous statements.

Things my kids have said in the last 24 hours that have produced many grey hairs include:

“I got a broom!”

“Look what my peanut can do!”

“Hey, Foodie! Let’s go outside!”

“I’m gonna hide in the dryer!”

“I found scissors!” in conjuction with “I want a haircut!”

And finally, the sentence that caused me to question my life choices:

“Only 2 more days of school til summer!”

Oh, God. No. NO. NOOOOOOO!!!