We had a tornado watch today. It’s laughable because we live in a very hilly area and the last time there was a tornado here was the 25th of Never. But, it freaked Rain Man’s freak.
Bad Mom Moment: I didn’t even know he knew what a tornado was, much less the implications of a Tornado Watch. The kid has better weather preparedness skills than I do.
So, Rain Man was freaking the hell out because the tornado was coming and the world was going to end. Maybe he was listening to all that business about the rapture prophecies too? He was telling me we needed to be in the basement NOW, even though the sky was partly cloudy and showed no signs of a tornado. Unless there is such a thing as spontaneous tornadoes. Like, OMGTORNADO! SHAZAM!
It got a little more cloudy and there was some rumblings of thunder so, I decided to collect Cereal Killer from his New Family down the block. (He made a friend. He thinks he needs to live part-time at their house.) Rain Man loses it. LOSES IT.
“MAMA! YOU CAN’T GO OUT THERE! THE TORNADO WILL EAT YOU!”
“There’s no tor…wait, eat me?”
“YES! And then he’ll come inside and get us with his claws!”
“I think you’re thinking of a bear.”
“Oh…..What’s a tornado?”
“A big storm.”
“You can go get my brother then.”
Bears > Tornadoes. And, hiding in the basement: The proper method for dealing with tornadoes and bears.