We were discussing the impending doom birthday party of one of the twins’ classmates today.

“There’s probably going to be cake,” I told them, as if an incentive is needed to attend a 4 year old’s birthday.

“No!!” cried Cereal Killer in horror.

What? Like, seriously? We’re freaking out about cake? Who is this kid?

“I can’t eat cake!” he sobbed. “I only eat cake with this hand and I have a Band-aid on it!”

My thoughts: 1) You eat it with your hand. Oh really? How about you eat it with a fork so your friends don’t get confirmation that you were raised by cavepeople.  2) You’re going to let a Band-aid get in the way of cake consumption? Were you switched at birth with my real son? I could have no arms or legs and a jaw that’s wired shut and I’d still find a way to eat cake. You just aren’t trying hard enough.