When my daughter grows up, I am pretty sure she is going to be an international spy, a cat burgler, or one of those guys who surprise washes your windows at a stop light. I know this because she has completely mastered the art of sneaking up on someone.

She, unfortunately, practices at night.

I was just waking up and rolled over…right in to Foodie’s soft little buttcheek. It was clean so, I wasn’t immediately panicked that I just threw myself nose-first into her fanny. But then, I realized I was in bed with a naked, un-night-potty-trained toddler. And I remember what happened last time.

I flew out of bed and threw a towel under my slumbering girl (just in case) who had now claimed my entire side of the bed and was stretched out to a disgusting degree.

As I stood there watching her enjoy MY bed, I wondered how she got there and how long her bare butt had been pressed up against me. And where was her diaper or pajamas for that matter?

At some point in the night, that little sneak had stripped naked and tiptoed to my room, hopped in to bed, and carved out a spot between Mom and Dad with no one noticing.

I think I need to get alarms for all the doors and windows to prevent sneaking because the kids are too good at sneaking and my husband and I sleep too heavily to survive their teenage years…